2 a.m. and still contemplating...

I have no idea why I was even thinking about this..probly still addyd out, I was trying to study earlier.

Leadership...
It means being alone. To lead is to live above the standards of others. To lead is to strive above the ambitons of others. To lead is to pull out of social norms. You are like your enviroment. So what is your environment? If you are never alone, you never make your enviroment. Sometimes to lead means that there will be no one there to help you, no one to have your back.

Changing subjects.

So, last night I stayed at my parents house because I didn't feel like driving home and...I totally had a heart to heart with my dad about life, philosophy, spirituality, etc. I felt like he was criticizing my lifestyle and morals. I try to avoid such subjects with him but last night i guess things were really just getting to me. I told him he shouldn't judge me on things he himself has not experience. I respect him for how he has lived his life and continues to live it, but obviously I didn't exactly follow in his footsteps.

Foundations and building blocks. He has a foundation he has everything built on. At this point in my life...I don't. I am aware. I am riding a thin line that keeps getting thinner. Being on the edge means you sway one way and then the other. Being on the edge can be a place of insecurity. Or...it can be an acceptance of what is. And what exactly is that? An acceptance that until you find your foundation, your building blocks aren't going to stack perfectly. Your going to tip to one side, then the other and in doing so...experience. In doing so, gain knowledge, until the scales begin to balance. I hope that mine will balance before it's too late. That is the game. That is life.

-AD